I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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