i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry about my life...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
