Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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