I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had sex on a roof
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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