He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
