My nipple is on Facebook.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
