i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
