We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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