You can't motorboat a personality
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
