Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
