Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
