Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
