So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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