It's like God shit irony all over that family
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize