she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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