ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize