i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
