coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
