I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize