So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
