Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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