i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
