i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
