I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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