I cockslap morals
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
