mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
