You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
