You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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