I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
