You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
