i barfeds in our rink
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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