Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
