I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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