just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize