I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
