your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize