you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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