how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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