i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I got inside last night via doggy door
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
