yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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