I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
