FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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