His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
