he thought i was a dude.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
