i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
