Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
