I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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