Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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