just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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