is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
