I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
