This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
bring money and cleavage
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
