If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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