I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
