So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
