You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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