I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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