our cab driver is having phone sex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
soo... how was my night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
