She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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