Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
