Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
