I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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