i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
