I can text with my tongue
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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