i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize