hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
