Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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