butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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