Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I believe in your delicious
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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