he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
should my penis look like a turkey
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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