Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
