For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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