i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
