Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
