Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
