i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
