There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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