I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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