i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
