I'm really into asian looking animals
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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