Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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